Originally from Vietnam, Hang was born in Belgium. She has also lived in Canada and Singapore.
To me, a third culture kid is growing up in different cultures, not just one. You’re exposed to many kinds of culture. I’ve always been a TCK but, I don’t know… It’s always been a part of my life, I never really questioned that. I love traveling and I always knew that I wanted a job that would take me to different countries. I guess being a TCK has led me to develop an international mindset. When I moved to Asia at the age of 26, a lot of people asked me:
“Why did you move so far away? It takes courage!”
For me it was normal, even natural to do so. I think a lot of people make excuses not to leave their country because they are too comfortable even though they say they want to travel more and discover other cultures. I think they just don’t want to, that’s my opinion.
You actually have cultural clashes all the time but it becomes your reality, it’s a part of your daily life. I just got used to it. For me, maybe the biggest clash was when I went back to Vietnam. I lived in Vietnam for 1 year, 3 years ago. My parents are Vietnamese so I guess I’m supposed to be Vietnamese but I don’t know the culture. I was anxious, I didn’t know if I could integrate. They still consider me as a foreigner, but the way I dress, I walk or talk. I’m not really part of the culture, I’m an outsider. Home is not Vietnam or Belgium, I can live everywhere. I’m a global citizen.
I find it’s difficult to keep a friendship when you don’t live in the same place. I kept in touch by email or Facebook but now, we exchange messages once a year. It’s tough to keep in touch when you don’t interact daily. I used to have best friends as a kid but when I grew up, it didn’t get easy. Also when you move to another place, very often, the people you meet already have their circle of friends so it’s actually difficult to get into their circle because you don’t have the same kind of connections that they have developed with their friends.
When I go back to the country I lived in, I would definitely contact them and meet them again. If I don’t head back, we don’t have much to talk about. A written message is not the same. It’s easier now to communicate but not being in the same location, is still tough. I don’t have a strong base of friends because I changed location a few times, you can’t be deeply connected with someone when you move so often.
You get used to saying goodbye after a while. Maybe the connections were not so strong, so it is sad but you kind of get used to it. Even though we say goodbye, the world is a small place. I know I can connect with them when I say goodbye. I’m not cynical in regards to friendships but I don’t have a best friend. You just have a good time with them and yeah, there are actually friends I have met before. A friend I met 7 years ago, during my university years, that I’m still in contact with. I know some day, if they come to Asia or I go back to Europe, we can see each other again. There’s no need to talk or see them everyday.
For my final advice, I feel we all have our issues, but it’s part of us. I never actually see it as an issue (being a TCK), you get so used to it after a while and being a TCK actually has many advantages in the way you think (open minded), you learn to accept things more easily rather than someone who has lived in the same country their whole life.